I got my back, back.

I wanted to officially send an update about my back and thank you for all the prayers.  I know that many were praying, loving, and helping us.  It was a wild ride.  But I am certain that God intervened and I am so grateful.  I keep dancing and skipping around saying, "I got my life back!" There is still so much that doesn't make sense but so much that does.  Here is bit of the timeline of events;

1.  Back kept going out last 2 months each time significantly worse than before.
2.  This last time was the worst.  Ended up seeing a Chiro and Orthopedic surgeon.
3.  MRI showed a ruptured disc and a bulging disc on my nerve roots.
4.  Ortho wanted to schedule 3 surgical procedures- 2 nerve blocks, and a nerve obliteration.
5.  Couldn't get a 2nd opinion due to no one would see me until Jan.
6.  Pain at highest point- ended up in ER.
7.  ER doctor gave us a referral to a spine specialist- neurosurgeon and gave me a lot of pain meds.
8.  Really struggled with how long this pain would last and how long recovery could be.
9.  Prayed a lot.  And throughout the steps above.
10.  Saw the neurosurgeon.  See the report I posted below:

"The neuro surgeon (spine specialist) read my MRI and saw me. He said I have no need for any procedure or surgery. He said that I have small disc bulge and it does not need anything. That my issues from pain all can't be explained but it is mostly all muscle related and basically a tendinitis of the muscle. I have a new med to help that. Have 6 weeks of limited movement and no heavy lifting and then begin core strength training. So praise God. I was scheduled for a surgery procedure for tommorrow... And got to cancel all of those!"

11.  Am carrying and lifting Otto!  Holding and rocking him and loving every minute.  :)  
12.  Living gratefully and enjoying things I've overlooked.  

Thanks for loving us through this.  I know it's not the last thing to come my way that's hard.  I know that some of you are in the midst of hard now.  I know that God listens, even when we don't think He is.  I know that He can work all things for good.  I know that God never leaves us and feels our pain with us.   I know that I matter and you matter to Him.  I know that I love my husband and his mad praying skills.  I love his heart for Jesus and his reliance on the Lord.  I know that it feels incredible to be surrounded by a community of loving people.  I know that when my hope runs low He puts others in life to step up and He offers hope.  

Everything comes from him;
Everything happens through him;
Everything ends up in him.
Always glory! Always praise!
    Yes. Yes. Yes.
Romans 11:36- Message

I Never....

I never thought I'd be writing you from my bed on bed rest from a bad back injury. I've been on my back and in excruciating pain for 9 days now.   I've not held my son since Dec 4th his first birthday.  I never thought my faith would be tested and my hope depleted as I try and find Him within me.  Now, reflecting back on this year with Young Life I never thought I'd see…

-  Adults join us for our leader dinner before club and beg to be a part of the YL team.

- 150-250 kids come to hear truth.

- A leader team that I love and that loves one another, and is exceptional.

- 50 of us go to rad dog road trip and love it.

- God using me while serving on jury duty in crazy ways.  (Ask me more)

- God using leaders to literally save the life a kid.

Needless to say, I am here in bed, longing for a full recovery and uncertain of the future, but this I know…

Life just got simple again. The Christmas hustle for gifts and busyness is gone. I just want to be able to walk and pick up my son. I didn't get to decorate the house or make cookies and that's okay.  I want to be with my family and see joy, feel hope, and celebrate the one who came to give it. I know there are times when our faith is tested; I’m in it now.  I know there are times when our hope supply runs low and can only come from the one who came to give us hope and life; I'm there.  I know He knows me and loves me.  I know He is powerful and mighty.  I know He makes things new.  I know He is the same yesterday and today.  He is a God of the ages. He told a man to pick up his mat and walk and he healed him inside and out. I know that He has given me friends and family to help find hope for me. I know that I matter to Him.

As I lay here I've had a lot of time to think. I think of this year. This year I've had a son and I am so thankful I'm struggling instead of him. I think of how much Jesus took our struggle on himself for each of us. I think about how much I love my YL family, from my assistant, Kim to the new freshman girls. I think I've had a great year seeing the goodness of The Lord in the land of the living.