I'm excited to have a guest blogger for us today- Jonathan Kindler. YL knows that adolescent years are some of the hardest years a kid faces. We believe the statistic that every adolescent needs 5 key adults in their life to make it through those tough times. YL wants to be one of those. Check out Jonathan's insight as a former YL kid and now therapist.
My name is Jonathan Kindler. I am a marriage, couples, a family therapist located in Lee’s Summit. I graduated from Lee’s Summit High School in 2003 and spent all four years involved in Young Life. Here I found unconditional friendship from leaders who became mentors guiding me to my greater purpose with Jesus Christ. Young Life is a great resource for teens to build a foundation of courage, to experience compassion, and to get connected.
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"Adolescents are the most misunderstood people on earth."
They are treated like children but expected to act like adults. It is a chaotic barrage of influences, life firsts, and trials that are presented to our adolescents on a daily basis. This, coupled with rapidly developing bodies, pumped with newly introduced hormones and malleable underdeveloped brains, (not to be fully developed until the age of 25), lends us a recipe for a whirlwind of confusion. In this developmental stage, our teens are faced with life decisions that will shape their perspective of themselves and their relationships, and it will set them on a trajectory for years to come. Are you scared yet?
As a therapist, I sit with teens on a daily basis working alongside them in the uncharted valley between kid-dom and adulthood. I have found, that as much as I hope to, I cannot fully protect them from the influx of temptation they will be faced with. The objective, as parents and mentors, is to instill in our kids the resilience to withstand the craziness of adolescence. Here are five, often under-valued, essentials for helping high school kids survive.
1. Support
Your teen needs you. They will say they don’t, but they do. They need to know that they are Worthy, even when they make mistakes. That their value is not based on their output. That they are loved and they belong. This will build resilience and courage.
2. Boundaries
Adolescence is the stage of transition from kid to adulthood. Here they learn how to be independent. This needs to be a gradual process. Placing good boundaries, clearly stating expectations, parameters, and consequences, constructs a reasonable balance, giving parents the ability to control the rate
of autonomy. This will empower teens to make wise decisions.
3. Purpose
Adolescence is the beginning of self-identity. Here they will explore what they will dedicate their time to, what their goals are, and they develop a vision bigger than themselves. To help cultivate this, your teen needs you to aid in creating healthy positive meaning from their life experiences. This
includes helping them process difficult circumstances, articulating and holding emotions, and challenging them to pursue achievements. This will help cultivate a strong identity and an integrated sense of self.
4. Self Care
It is essential for teens to recharge their batteries. Eating healthy, staying active, and getting good sleep is critical. As well as having a healthy balance between academics, athletics, hobbies, and “screen time”. Spending time cultivating relationships with family, friends and God keeps them grounded. Setting standards in these areas creates healthy resources and habits.
5. A Model
Finally, (this is the hard one) we must be the adults we want our children to become. We cannot give them anything we don’t have. When we model for our kids how we want them to live, we build trust and confidence in them, and they experience the positive impact this has in our life.
If you would like resources for your teen or are interested in therapy for your family
please contact me. I would love to help.
www.serenitylifekc.org/jonathan-kindler
kindlercounseling@gmail.com
816-892- 0902
